The Letters
by yesiluvthestage
Summary: Bella dies and Edward thinks his life is over. That is, until he starts receiving letters...from Bella? The letters help him get back on track and learn to be happy again. But when someone else comes into Edward's life, will he let himself love again?
1. Agony

The Letters

Prologue: Agony

I smile and kiss Bella on the forehead. "I'll be back soon to pick you up for school," I promise. I glide easily from her window and run to my house to change clothes. Alice greets me with a huge smile and Rosalie rolls her eyes. She doesn't understand my fascination or love for Bella. Sometimes this frustrates me beyond words. Today, however, I am too happy to care. I run upstairs, shower, and pull on jeans. Just as I grab a t-shirt, Alice screams and runs into my room.

"What?" I ask, although I can hear her thoughts just as easily as her words.

"Bella," is all she says, or at least all that I can hear, because I am running, harder than I ever have in my life. I don't know what is happening, I only know that I have to be there. I make it to Bella's house in record time. I prepare to climb the wall to get in through her window, but then I realize that she is standing right in front of me. She isn't alone. A vampire with flaming red hair stands before her, ready to kill. I gasp in horror. How did I not see this coming? How did _Alice _not see? But right now, I don't have time for questions. I have to save my Bella. It is then that I realize that I am too late. Bella's back is to me and I can see Victoria's eyes peering at me over her shoulder. I glare at her, but before I can even take a step, Bella falls to the ground, paler than snow. There is no glorious pink in her cheeks, and I can't hear her beautiful heartbeat. I look at Victoria and notice that her lips are the color of blood. After that, there is no thought. I move by instinct and instinct alone. The next thing I am aware of is using a lighter to catch what's left of Victoria on fire. When that's done, I lift Bella in my arms and I don't run to my house. I walk. This will be the last time we're alone together. I look at her face. Her eyes are open wide, as if she is in shock. I know, however, that this cannot be. My Bella is dead. I stare into her eyes for a moment, memorizing them, before I gently close them with one finger. Her mouth is open in a frightful shape. I can practically hear her screaming "Edward!" as Victoria lunges for her, but I am not around to hear. I curse myself for leaving her alone. By now I am at my house. Everyone already knows. I can see by the pity in their eyes. Even Rosalie seems upset. But I know it is only an act. I growl at her, for always hating Bella, and she throws her hands in the air and runs upstairs. Carlisle comes up to me.

"Edward, give her to me." he says calmly, but I can hear the strain in his voice. I can't bring myself to shake my head. I have no energy. Still, my hands tighten around Bella. I won't let her go. I won't. Esme pats me comfortingly on the shoulder as I sit down on the couch. I manage to nod at her in acknowledgment. Alice is gazing at me in wonder.

"What?" I hiss. She looks frightened and takes a step back. I am instantly sorry, but my lips can't form an apology.

"It's just...you're crying. I didn't know we could do that." she says quietly. I reach one hand up to touch my cheek. Sure enough, it's wet. I draw my finger away to look at it. It's venom, I can tell. I laugh with no humor. Even my tears are dangerous. I can't help but think this is all my fault. If I had never taken Bella, taken someone who was not rightfully mine, she would still be alive and reasonably happy. I should have left her a long time ago. I would rather be miserable than have _her_...dead. I would trade places with her in a second.

I look up, through the windows. The sky is dark, darker than usual, and it is storming heavily. Perfect. I knew it. The world is bound to be darker without Bella in it. It makes sense. I am somewhat aware of my family coming up with plans. Cover stories, funeral dates, things along those lines. I don't contribute much, but I nod when I'm spoken to. Someone calls Charlie, and he screams a lot and cries over the phone. I don't care. I am numb. I feel nothing, except a hollow feeling in my chest where my heart used to be. Bella had it, always, and she took care of it for me. But now that she's gone....my heart is gone as well. Days pass. Tears run relentlessly from my gold, inhuman eyes. I hate myself. I want to die.

The day comes for Bella's funeral. I go, to honor her, and when the minister asks me if I want to say anything, I force my legs to move. I walk as if going through quicksand. It takes me days to make it up to the podium. When I reach it, I gaze for a moment out into the crowd. Every face is the same. Sad and sympathetic. Many of them didn't even _like _Bella. I want to kill them all. I close my eyes, then open them again and I look down at Bella's coffin, which is sitting half-open. I stare into her face as I say my last words to her.

"I love you," I whisper. But the room is so silent, I know everyone can hear. Suddenly, someone sobs uncontrollably. I look up and see Rosalie in the very back, covering her mouth with her hand. No tears fall from her eyes, yet she is sobbing, loudly. Everyone turns to look and she races out of the room. I sigh, and chase after her. We are in a deserted hallway and she turns to face me, apologies written in her eyes.

"Edward, I always loved her, too." she cries when she can breathe. I nod once. "I was always so jealous. But I really did love her. She was...," she sniffles. "She was perfect for you." I can tell by her voice and her thoughts that she truly means it. These are the most heartfelt words to ever fall from Rose's mouth. I take two steps towards her and wrap her in a hug, trying to imagine her pain. At least with myself, I know Bella died fully aware of my feelings for her. With Rose, Bella had no idea.

Rosalie and I hold each other for a long time, both of us sobbing and remembering. I go through everything. From the first time I saw her, all the way up until those most painful last moments. When I am finished, I force myself to sober up and I somehow smile at Rosalie. She grins weakly in return. I know neither of us are happy, but she'll get over it. She has Emmett. Alice, besides me, will probably feel the pain the most, but she still has Jasper to help her. Who am I left with? No one. I want to be angry with someone, anyone. But I can't bring myself to be mad at Bella for letting herself be taken away from me. I can't taint my memory of her at all, because I know she was and is utterly and truly perfect.

Soon, the funeral ends and people spill out. I glare at Jessica and Lauren as they come out, crying and falling all over each other. They are actors, and nothing more. Charlie comes out and spots me. He isn't crying, but I can see redness in his eyes and tear stains on his shirt. He puts a hand on my shoulder and looks at me. That's all for a while. And then we both cry, but he doesn't notice that no tears fall from me. When we are both somewhat stable, he looks at me again and speaks.

"She was happy with you." he says, and the words drive a dagger through my stomach. He uses the past tense. Bella isn't here anymore. My Bella. _Bella. _"She really loved you." he smiles, only a bit, and I think I smile back.

"She shouldn't have," I tell him, and it's true. If she hadn't, none of us would be here, garbed in all black. We look like nighttime, I think, as we all walk out of the church. I believe I am wearing the darkest black of anyone. Why? Because I don't want to be happy anymore. What's the point? I put on sunglasses, although the sun has decided not to come to work today. I put them on, and I put my hands in my suit pockets, and I walk to the edge of the parking lot where it meets a forest. I run, run to our meadow, because it's the first place that comes to mind. I don't think I can handle being anywhere else. When I get there, I walk around and touch things that she touched. I see a broken twig that she stepped on the last time we were here. I allow myself to chuckle. I sit next to the twig, as if it is Bella, and I pull my knees to my chest. I am broken. I wonder about what to do. I consider going to the Volturi, but I can almost hear Bella saying, "Don't you dare hurt yourself!". I can see her face. It's angry, and her cheeks are flushed, she's so mad. Her eyes are burning. She's pointing a finger at me, and I laugh, because I never would have thought a human would have been able to keep me from doing something I really wanted to do. What I really want is to go to Volterra and die, but I know Bella would hate me for doing it, so I don't. I sit in the meadow and think. I remember.

When I've decided that I've been gone long enough, I stand and trudge back home. I don't say a word to anyone, and they don't speak to me either. They're all seated at the kitchen table and they stop talking when I enter. I shake my head at them and I walk upstairs. Slowly, I walk to my room. I turn on Debussy, sigh, and go to my couch. I stop before I sit down, though. Because there, looking startlingly white against the black, is an envelope, with nothing written on it, except two words.

_From Bella. _

**Okay, that was just the prologue. The rest of the story will be written in past tense, for those of you who don't like present tense (: I know this chapter is really depressing, but it will get happier, I promise! I hope you liked it. Review and I'll update soon!**


	2. Letter One

Letters

Letter One: Memory

I walked to the couch and sat down next to the letter, staring at it the whole time. I glowered at it. Really, whoever had put it there was heartless. This was a sick joke. Still, a voice in the back in the back of my head was telling me I should at least open it, see what's inside. It couldn't possibly make me hurt any worse, now could it? I went to my closet and changed from my suit into jeans, a t-shirt, and a hoodie. I was stalling, and I knew it. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth before I combed the leaves and dirt that I had accumulated from running out of my hair. Finally, I walked back to my room and sat down. I exhaled sharply, and determinedly reached for the letter. The envelope was smooth and perfect in my hands. It was whiter than anything I had seen before-it made my hands seem _tan _in comparison. The whiteness of it was blinding-it burned my eyes. I lifted my gaze from it and carefully slid one finger to break the seal. I was moving at a snail pace. Just as I lifted the flap, Alice burst in.

"What, Alice?" I asked. Strangely, my voice held feeling. I was surprised at myself. My tone had been dead for days...just like Bella. I pushed the thoughts away and focused on Alice who had apparently noticed the difference, too, and she smiled for a split second.

"Edward," she said carefully. She was testing me, seeing if I would shut down again. When I didn't, she continued. "I just had a vision." and she stopped. I raised my eyebrow.

"Well, what was it, Alice?"

"It was...you were very upset and you started crying and you threw a piece of paper on the ground and you left Forks for _weeks_. So...whatever that paper is," she pointed at the envelope in my hands. "I don't think you should read it."

"I appreciate the warning, but look," I flashed the back of it at her so she could read where it said _From Bella. _She gazed at it blankly for a moment before looking questioningly at me.

"What?" she asked. I sighed and pointed at the words.

"It says, 'from Bella'. Can't you read?"

"Yes, I can," she said slowly. "But that envelope doesn't say anything."

"Alice, don't mess around with me, I can't take it." I scolded her. She was looking at me like I was crazy. Oh, no. She thought I was crazy. She backed out of the room and I could hear her calling for Carlisle. I got up and slammed the door angrily. I wasn't insane. I could see the words right there. After flipping the lock, I walked back over to the couch and slipped the letter out of the envelope.

"Edward! Let me in, man!" Emmett was pounding on the door.

"Go away!" I shouted back. Couldn't they just leave me alone?

"Don't make me break the door down!" I rolled my eyes. I knew he wouldn't really do it. Really, on the day of Bella's funeral, couldn't I at least have some peace? Eventually, Emmett left and everything was silent. I took a deep breath and unfolded the paper. It was even more pale than the envelope. I gazed in awe at the page. It was full, and everything was written in Bella's handwriting. Okay, this was a truly horrid joke. It took a few seconds for me to calm myself down enough to start at the beginning and read.

_Dear Edward,_

_I know what you're thinking. And no, this isn't some terrible prank the universe decided to play on you. This letter is really from me. I wish I could tell you that I'm still alive and that I'm waiting for you to climb in my bedroom window, but I can't, because I'm not._

I paused, because even though I knew it was true, it hurt to see the words there on the page. She was really dead. She really wasn't coming back. Seeing it in writing was tangible pain. It was like it was set in stone now. Unchanging. She was gone forever. I pulled myself away from my thoughts and turned back to the letter.

_I know what you're doing. You're blaming yourself for my death. Don't deny it. I know you, and I know you are. Stop. Please. I'm a danger magnet, you know I am. It's not your responsibility to watch out for me all the time. Don't let my death keep you from living, okay? Because that's what Victoria wanted. Don't you dare let her win, Edward. Although, knowing you and your temper, I'm sure you've killed her already. Thanks for avenging me. I appreciate it. _

_I hope you know that I miss you terribly. I think about you often. But, I want you to have a nice, long life down there. And don't tell me that you've already had one. Have another one, then. _

I actually laughed there. A testament to Bella-she could even make me laugh from the grave. A true achievement.

_I'll always remember you, Edward. And it's okay for you to remember me, too. But don't let my memory haunt you. _

_With all my love, forever,_

_Bella_

I leaned back against the seat and let the letter fall to the floor. Alice's vision had been wrong. I wasn't upset at all, and I had no thoughts of running away. The letter had made me...happy? Because I knew I had heard from Bella, my precious first and only love. There was no doubt in my mind that the letter was really from her. I knew it was. I didn't care that it should have been impossible. If a creature like myself could exist, then I could receive messages from heaven and Bella. Bella. My Bella.

I got an idea suddenly, and I stood up and starting hunting for a pen and paper. I found them and returned to the couch. It was then that I noticed some writing on the back of the letter. I picked it up and read,

_P.S. you can't write me back. I'm sorry. But, generally, I have a pretty good idea what you're thinking, so it's okay. Don't be angry. I'll write you soon._

I chuckled, which turned into an all out laugh. Carlisle and Alice burst in, looking concerned. I just kept laughing, because I knew I still had my reason for existence. She wasn't really gone. I realized that my family really did think that I had lost it now. But at the moment, I didn't care. I had Bella, my beautiful Bella. Back from the dead.

**I hope you liked this chapter! Don't worry, not every chapter is going to be just a letter. They're going to go back to school soon and tons of other stuff is going to happen, but I don't want to give it all away! I hope you like it so far. Review, please!**


	3. Secret Plot

Letter Two: Anger

"Edward, what is the matter with you?" Alice screeched. I sat up and looked at her, biting back a laugh.

"What are you talking about? Nothing's wrong." I told her with a shrug. She looked skeptical.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Is it a crime to laugh now? Last time I checked, we still lived in America, you know, land of the free and all that." I stood and got back on the couch. I was beginning to get grouchy-why did Alice have to come dampen my mood?

"I'm not joking, Edward." Alice said seriously. "Carlisle and I are truly worried about you." I sighed.

"I'm laughing because Bella is funny. Here, look." I picked up the letter and handed it to Alice. She glanced at it quickly and showed it to Carlisle. They shared a concerned look. "What?" I asked, exasperated.

"Son," Carlisle moved forward and carefully sat next to me. "There's nothing written here."

"What are you talking about?" I took the letter from him and looked at it. There was definitely writing there. "The page is full." I looked up again, and noticed that Carlisle and Alice were having a very intense discussion with their eyes. Why they bothered when a mind-reader was in the room, I'll never know. "I'm not crazy!" I roared, standing up.

"Calm down, Edward.... Listen, a friend of mine specializes in this kind of thing. Usually it's triggered by loss if a loved one, and with the recent death of-,"

"Shut up, Carlisle!" I covered my mouth with my hand. The words were out before I had even thought about them. I had _never _spoken to my father-figure like that. Our relationship was one of respect, support, and understanding. But, I didn't appreciate them questioning my insanity. "I'm sorry," I whispered, sitting again. He sighed.

"I know. This past week has been stressful for you...it's been stressful for all of us. We just want what's best for you."

"I know you do, thank you, but Bella wrote me this letter." I shrugged, "Maybe she didn't want anyone else to read it."

"Edward, get it through your head, _please. _Bella is _dead! _She can't talk, she can't write you letters, and she's never coming back, alright?" Alice screamed. I recoiled for a moment, and before I had thought it out, I slapped her across the face. She gasped and brought a hand up to stroke her cheek tentatively. I looked away from her frightened expression and turned to Carlisle. He didn't glare or yell at me. He just gazed at me evenly for a moment before putting an arm around Alice and leading her out of the room. I slammed the door after them and sat back down, breathing heavily. I was so angry that my hands were shaking.

As if by magic, another envelope appeared in my lap. I grinned and tore into it quickly. My Bella wasted no time with pleasantries.

_Edward Cullen, what are you doing?!_ _Slapping Alice?!_ _Have you completely lost your mind? She's just worried about you! I know I should have mentioned it before, but I'm sure you figured out that they can't read these letters. They're just for you. But you need to get your temper under control, or I swear I'll stop writing you. I promise I will! Please, be good. Apologize to Alice. Don't make me come down there...sorry, that joke wasn't funny. I'm sorry. I need to go now, but I'll write you soon. _

_With all my love (and anger),_

_Bella. _

I leaned back and put my head into my hands as an act of shame. I couldn't believe what I had done...what kind of a..._person _was I becoming? Alice was only trying to help. And I had hurt her. I got up and went to look in a mirror to test myself. I was shocked. I could hardly recognize myself. My hair was more flat and covered a good portion of my face. My eyes were furious and black-I couldn't even remember the last time that I had hunted. The biggest difference was that my lips no longer smiled. I looked emo. I took a deep breath and sighed.

"Alice?" I called, exiting my room. She popped up in front of me.

"Yes?" she was grinning, but it look more like a smirk. I raised an eyebrow.

"I just wanted to say-,"

"Don't apologize, Edward. I'm not angry. I had a vision of you slapping me if I said that-so, truth be told, I was kind of asking for it." she laughed.

"Thanks, Alice. I appreciate it. But, she really did write to me. You know I'm not crazy." She looked down.

"I know you aren't...I'm just trying to change the inevitable."

Alice's Point of View

The day of Bella's death

Poor Edward. He sat like a statue on our couch, merely holding Bella in his arms, sobbing. I was punishing myself for not seeing what would happen sooner. Maybe if I had kept an eye out for Bella, she would still be alive right now....

"Stop torturing yourself, Alice." Jasper said from across the room.

"I thought Edward was the mind-reader?" I mumbled.

"I can feel it. And it's painful...stop. Please." he begged. I sighed and looked up.

"I'll do my best."

"Thanks." he left the room and I went back to thinking.

I saw us at Forks High School. We were walking down the hallway, and a girl who looked strangely like Bella came up to us. She had dirty blonde hair, and was a little bit more tan, but she just...had the essence of Bella? And the eyes...she had the exact same eyes. She talked to Edward, and I watched him get hypnotized. Then, a few days later...she left. And Edward was heartbroken-again.

As I saw the vision, I was hit with an unbearable truth-the girl was one of two things-someone sent by Bella (the real Bella, the dead Bella) or she _was _Bella. Either way, this mystery girl was going to destroy Edward, because she would leave him, however unwillingly, just like Bella did. Before I could come up with another theory, another vision appeared.

Edward received letter after letter from _Bella. _The letters made him happy, for a little while. But then she sent the last one, and he was broken...that was about when the girl showed up.

I knew that Edward wouldn't be able to survive that much...it would kill him. I realized that I would have to do something to prevent Edward from reading the letters... or I would have to do something to keep the girl from coming. I stood up and paced back and forth.

I used to be happy. Carefree. But after Bella, my true best friend, died...I was different. I had to do whatever I could to protect what family I had left. Even if I had to lie, cheat, steal...or kill.

The Day of Bella's Funeral...(after she leaves Edward's room with Carlisle)

Carlisle left me in my room and I sat down angrily. Obviously, I wouldn't be able to keep Edward from reading the letters. Especially if they were just going to magically appear like that. So, I would have to do something else. I would have to get rid of the girl...whenever she came. Slowly, I formulated a plan....I would have to wait until the last of Edward's letters came (it looked like there would be around four more) and then I would have to find the girl and stop her from coming...but how? It took me a while to come to the realization that I would have to kill her. There was no other option. If I wanted to protect Edward's sanity.

After I came to my conclusion, I began walking quickly around my room trying to calm down. I wasn't a murderer. I wasn't like Victoria and James. I couldn't kill some innocent girl just because of the damage she would do, accidentally, to my brother. I sat down again and buried my face in a pillow. I didn't know what to do.

**Sorry if this is confusing. This is just a little foreshadowing, and an explanation for some of the stuff that Alice is doing and is about to do. It'll make sense in further chapters (: r&r!**


	4. AN

Sorry guys, I know you hate "chapters" that are actually author's notes, but I had to tell you. I'm officially putting this story on hold indefinitely. I have too many other stories, and I'm just completely uninspired to write this anymore. I know, it's extremely depressing and I'm sad, too. I will eventually take up this story again, if people tell me that they want me to, but if not, then it's kind of dead, I guess. I'm sorry ): you can read my other stories while you wait, if you want.


	5. Edward's Return

**So, I decided to update (: I've got a sudden hit of inspiration, so let's hope it sticks with me! Thanks for putting up with this story guys :D you rock.**

Chapter Three: Edward's Return

Edward's Point of View

_No. No. Please. Please! I can't. No! Don't make me! Please! It's killing me! I can't- I can't breathe, I can't think! Don't-I can't! Save me! Help me! Ah! No! I can't! I'll die! It's unbearable! It's torture! Don't! _Those were the thoughts running through my head as my brothers dragged me, thrashing, to the car. The two letters from Bella had helped me substantially in my efforts to let go and live my life, but I was in no way ready for this. School.

Carlisle decided that, since it had been almost two weeks since the funeral, I should go back to school and keep up appearances. People would get suspicious if I stayed out _too _long. Of course, I had fought with all of my strength. I knew it was for the best, and I knew it was what Bella would want, but I couldn't bring myself to go. Hence, the dragging. Emmett had no problem pulling me around-I probably weighed _nothing _to him. But being in close contact with me was hurting Jasper, I could tell-my pain, which he already felt, was intensified by touching me. I could tell he was hurting by the tight grimace on his face.

"Please!" I whimpered pathetically. "Don't make me go! I can't…I can't handle this." I didn't care that I was whining and begging like a child. Seeing the place where I had met her, and built up so many precious memories…I would drop dead. I was sure of it. Neither of them acknowledged the fact that I had spoken, but I noticed Jasper wince. I saw Alice waiting by the back door of the car. Blocking it.

"Hey, if he doesn't want to go, you shouldn't make him." She said. I temporarily stopped fighting back to stare at her incredulously. There had never been a time when she didn't back Jasper up…so why was she fighting him _now _over this? Plus, Carlisle had already decided. The choice was made.

"What?" Jasper asked angrily. She shrugged.

"You heard me." She responded coolly. My brothers gaped. What was going on?

"Alice, what are you doing?" I whispered. She didn't answer.

"He needs to go back. It'll start getting suspicious."

"I guess I'll just have to fight you then," Alice crouched into a fighting stance. I couldn't believe my eyes.

"Get up, I'm fine." I told her. There wouldn't be a fight over me. I had caused enough trouble already.

"Alice! Enough!" we heard Carlisle call from the porch. I had never heard him so angry. Alice looked sheepish, stood, and got in on the passenger side. What was going on here? I tried to read her thoughts, but she was blocking me out. Suspicious. I gave up struggling against Emmett and Jasper and let them load me into the backseat of _my _Volvo. I suppose they didn't trust me to drive. Emmett and Rosalie squeezed in on either side of me, and Jasper hopped in on the driver's side. I tried to ignore the stabbing pain in my gut when he reached across and held Alice's hand as he drove. I felt a phantom tingling in my hand, where Bella's small warm fingers used to fit perfectly around mind. I bit back a sob. Trees blurred past outside as Jasper sped well over the speed limit to Forks High. I looked down as we pulled into the school parking lot. I couldn't bear to the see it. Emmett tugged me by the arm out of the car and I was forced to look. A cascade of memories bombarded me as we walked up the steps into first period. I felt like I was walking in slow motion.

_Bella's long hair blowing in the wind. Bella laughing. Bella's look of surprise as I take her hand, in front of everyone. Bella blushing. Bella. Bella. Bella. _

It was hard to ignore all the gossiping about me, both out loud and internally. Did they think I couldn't see them? Did they think I couldn't hear? They all pointed at me, speculating. Why was I here? How was I taking it? And, the most vile question of them all, playing in nearly every girl's mind, was I looking for a replacement? A replacement. Bah. The thought made venom rise in my throat. As if one of these shallow, self-centered girls could even _attempt _to replace the beautiful love of my life. The only love of my life. My day passed agonizingly slowly, with all the teachers giving me stares of pity. I wished I could rip the looks off their faces.

There was lunch. I bought food for props and sat at the table Bella and I had occupied on our own for a little while. No one dared come near me. I was sure the look on my face was pure murderous hate. This world had taken my Bella away from me. And I hated it. I hated _them. _So there was lunch. And then there was biology. Emmett walked me to the classroom, making sure I didn't skip.

"You've been here all day. You can't ditch now." He told me at the door. I glared.

"We used to ditch bio all the time," I reminded him through clenched teeth. He sighed.

"This will be good for you, Edward. You're going to have to heal eventually. It's what she would want." He said quietly. I had him pinned to the wall before I realized what I was doing.

"Don't you _dare _tell me what Bella would want. Don't. Even. _Think _you know better than I do." I released him and swept into class. I nearly fell over at the onslaught of visual reminders I received upon sitting down.

_Bella, wondering why I was glaring at her. Bella, fists clenched as we watched that stupid movie. Bella, as we played twenty questions. Bella, fainting at the sight of blood. Bella. Bella. Bella. _

It was all Bella, all of those things made her who she was. And she was perfect. I still couldn't figure out why she had chosen _me. _Mike looked at me curiously as he walked in. It took a Herculean effort not to growl at him.

I didn't listen to a word the teacher said all period. I don't think my eyes left Bella's empty seat once the entire time. Maybe I secretly hoped that by staring, she would materialize next to me. No such thing happened. She was dead, and I was alive. It was as simple as that. And I had to deal with it. My last class after that went by quickly, mercifully. It was when I was heading out to my car _after _class that I smelled her.

She wasn't my singer; no, it wasn't that. I don't know what it was that drew me to her. Her blood smelled just like everyone else's. But she was alone, and I headed for her without any real thought. She was tall, though still shorter than me, with short blonde hair. I think her name was Kate. I followed after her slowly, stealthily. No one would see me, not even her. When was the last time I had hunted? I couldn't remember. I was so _thirsty. _And this girl was the answer. She didn't notice me following her, of course she didn't. I was the perfect stalker. Bella was dead. What was one more life?

I was walking quickly, silently, as she made her way to a forest a little ways off of the school parking lot. The sounds of the other teenagers died away and it was just us heading along the deserted road lined with trees. How had she not realized my presence yet? And then, thinking of this, I froze. What was I doing? This wasn't who I was. This was what I had tried to avoid becoming, to earn Bella's trust-to earn her love. I couldn't do this. I ducked into the woods just as the girl turned to look behind her. She would never know I was there. I ran and ran until I stumbled-yes, I stumbled-and fell to my knees.

"Why?" I shouted, causing birds and woodland creatures to shriek and scatter. I tilted my face to the sky. "Why did you leave me?" I picked up a rock and threw it, breaking a tree clean in half. "I loved you! I _love _you! Why did you go?" I felt the sobs returning before I could stop them. "I need you, Bella." I whispered. "I can't…I can't live without you." I needed so badly to hear her voice. All I wanted was for her to come walking through the woods towards me, right then. It was all I needed. But what I needed would never return. I was alone. All alone.

I looked up, venom dripping angrily from my cold, black eyes, as a perfect white envelope drifted from the sky towards me.

**I nearly cried writing this chapter. I hope you thought it was good, though. Please review and I'll keep up this story, if you want me to.**


	6. Fighting

Letter Three: Remorse

The letter flitted through the tree branches elegantly; peacefully. It was perfect and lovely, but it was a poor substitute for Bella. I had thought that with the letters, I would get through somehow but…they just weren't her. They would never be _her. _

I caught the envelope before it could hit the ground. It wasn't her, but it was the closest thing I had-I didn't want it to get soiled. I peeled the flap up slowly, unsure of if I wanted to read it or not. What if she was angry at me for chasing after Kate? Or worse-what if she was just plain disappointed? The paper was smooth in my hand as I slid it out and opened it carefully.

_Edward. _

_I cannot put into words how unbelievably sorry I am. _

_I've hurt you so much…I don't know what I ever did to deserve _

_you. What you did with Kate was nothing. You stopped yourself,_

_and that's what matters. You aren't a monster,_

_you're an angel. You're going to make it down there,_

_Edward. I know you will. You're strong and perfect._

_More perfect than I ever was. Do me a favor and have_

_fun, okay? I don't want your life to be pointless._

_I'm dead, Edward. Mourning for the rest of your life won't _

_bring me back, it will just make me angry. So _live _okay._

_Live._

_All my love and sorrow,_

_Isabella_

She was serious. I could tell. The way she signed her name-Isabella-proved it to me. Her letter was beautiful, and depressing. It killed me to know that I was hurting her, in Heaven, where there could be no pain. I had to be happy, or at least not be unhappy, for Bella's sake, if not my own.

I pretended, for her, and for my family. I would have been content to do as she had said and mourn for all eternity, but I could not have her angry at me. So, for the next few days, I tried to go to school and act like I was coping. Externally, I was cool, calm, and collected. Just as I had been before I had even known of Bella's existence. On the inside, it was tearing me apart.

I was alright for the first few days-it kind of felt like Bella was at home ill or something (although we all very well knew she was not). But after about a week where she didn't show up at school, the truth hit me hard. Again. I wondered how many times I would have to be reminded of Bella's death before I finally got it through my head. Maybe I never would. Maybe I would keep punishing myself by forgetting, then being told again that the love of my life had been murdered. Because of me.

It happened on my seventh day back at school. I had been doing relatively well, all things considered. But when I walked into biology, that seventh time, I couldn't take it. I just knew to sit there, next to where she had been every day, pretending that I was fine again, would kill me. I turned abruptly on my heel in the doorway and left. I passed two of my teachers on my way off campus. Neither of them said anything. I was sure that Alice had seen me leave, but she didn't stop me. I was left to run home in peace.

The house was empty when I got there. I showered, changed clothes, and settled myself on the couch. I could easily see the piano from where I sat. I felt the need to cry, but I refrained. I stood and went to it. I could see a thin sheen of dust that had gathered on it from lack of use. I hadn't used it since Bella had died. It must have been torturing Esme. I suddenly heard a melody in my head. Just as I sat on the stool to play it however, I heard a knock on the door. I was in such a deep concentration that I did not hear the thoughts and plans of whoever was outside. I didn't feel my phone vibrating in my back pocket. And I did not notice the smell of wet dog seeping onto my porch.

I walked to the door lazily and swung it open, expecting to see one of my siblings. I realized too late that they wouldn't have to knock. A split-second after the door was opened, a pair of scorching brown hands were latched onto my throat, squeezing for all they were worth. I could not suffocate or be strangled, so this position was merely extremely uncomfortable. Jacob pulled me out of the house and threw me into the side wall of my house. I felt the dent cave around me. My back was aching, and I knew Jacob had a reason for being here, so I didn't move.

"You killed her!" he shouted at me. He came over, picked me up, then thought better of it and threw me down again. I felt the pain but didn't say a word. "You should have let her be with me!" He started kicking and punching me. "I would have kept her alive! She would still be here!" the agony in his voice was unmistakable, and I couldn't help wondering if he was right. If she had been with Jacob instead of myself, would she be dead? I knew the answer. No, she wouldn't have been. We would never have played baseball, James never would have seen her, I would have had no reason to kill him, and Victoria wouldn't have felt the need to avenge him. It was amazing what a little bit of love could change. I looked up at Jake. Large tears were rolling, unashamed, from his black eyes. "You murdered her! It was _you! _If you had loved her at all, you would have kept her safe!" He was still pounding me, and I didn't have it in me to fight back. I didn't want to. I wanted him to kill me, relieve the pain. But I knew he wouldn't. "I loved her!" he sobbed, and delivered a last powerful blow to my stomach. I doubled over as he stumbled backwards, pulling his knees to his chest and crying. I did not call him weak. I didn't think any less of him. He did exactly what I had done. I let him mourn. It was strange and unheard of- the two of us, mortal enemies, united by one girl. One girl who we had both loved. One girl who had changed everything.

When the pain subsided, I shakily stood and made my way back inside. I knew that Jacob would not want comfort from me. I sat back down at the piano and played as if the fight hadn't happened, missing a few keys here and there as I tried to figure out the right notes for the song. The melody flowed straight from my fingers into the ivory, and it was probably the best song I had ever composed. It was nothing like Bella's Lullaby. This song was…Bella's Tribute…Bella's Memory. I couldn't come up with a name that would fit. I didn't notice Esme walk in and lay a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Edward, it's so beautiful. Is it for someone…new-?" she asked sweetly, but my response was hard, cold, and final.

"It's for Bella." I snapped, hardly regretting it afterwards. I stood and went to the base of the stairs, then turned back to where my entire family had congregated in the living room. Carlisle had his arm around Esme's shoulders, Rosalie and Emmett had their arms around each other's waists, and Alice and Jasper were holding hands. My chest ached. "It's _all _for Bella!" And I flew up the stairs.

**Sorry, guys, I know it's short and I know it moved kind of fast, but there's important stuff coming soon that I want to get to! I hope you still like it (: I think I'm going to finish this story, but just to warn you, it won't be incredibly long. Review pretty please! **


	7. Tragic

**I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone who added me on story/author alerts, and favorite story/author! An especially big thank you to all my reviewers (: I'm so sorry I couldn't get around to replying to all of you, but I'm trying my hardest! You are all amazing! Keep it up! **

Letter Four: Goodbyes

Alice's Point of View

I chased Edward up the stairs, ignoring Jazz's warning to leave him alone. I honestly felt bad for Jasper. He was feeling the pain of Bella's death, only multiplied. It must have been agonizing.

"I hurt worse than Jasper." Edward murmured, almost to himself as I entered his room and closed the door. He was lying on his back on the floor, holding his ribs gently. I sat next to him.

"What?" I asked. I didn't understand. He groaned as he tried to sit up, and decided to stay down instead.

"You were thinking about how much pain Jasper is in. I just wanted you to know that I'm hurting more than he is." He explained evenly. I winced at the thought of how torturous that would be.

"Ouch," I whispered. He just nodded and I sighed. "I tried to call you when your future disappeared. You didn't answer your phone."

"I was thinking of other things." Edward replied in a monotone.

"Why did you answer the door?"

"Because it was the polite thing to do." He answered in the same tone. This was getting nowhere.

"Are you telling me you couldn't hear the mutt's thoughts?" As his voice was growing calmer, mine was increasing in annoyance. He shrugged and flinched.

"I was thinking of other things." He repeated. That was it.

"Edward!" I shouted, then exhaled sharply. "Things aren't always about you, okay? It's been three weeks. Alright? Three weeks! We all miss her, too, but we're moving on! You should, too!" I exploded. He sat up in a flash.

"Do you think I'm not trying?" he countered. Finally, an emotion. "This girl changed my life, Alice! And you expect me to forget about her after just a few weeks? Are you insane? I will be in love with her until the day I die."

I wanted to point out that he was technically already dead, but I decided now wasn't the time. "I know you're trying, Edward. I guess what I'm saying is…try harder. Everyone else is. What you're putting yourself through is nearly killing Jasper." His glare was menacing as he stared me down.

"At least Jasper is still here with you." He told me, then he lay back down and closed his eyes. That was the end of the discussion. I went to my room, where Jasper was waiting. He was looking at me funny, making me somewhat self conscious.

"What?" I looked down, trying to determine if I had somehow ruined my outfit in my argument with Edward. Jazz shook his head and let out a huffy breath. He looked towards the window.

"You're different, Alice." He stated. I didn't say anything, because I knew he was not finished. "Ever since Bella died, your feelings…they're weird, and I'm not sure I understand them." He didn't ask me anything, so I didn't give him any answers. There were some things that Jasper did not need to know. He shook his head again and left the room. I plopped angrily down in a chair.

"Bella," I whispered angrily. "Why did you have to die?" I never got an answer to that.

Edward's Point of View

After Alice left, I pulled myself off the floor and over to my music case. I selected Debussy, the track I had been listening to with Bella the day she had skipped after Biology. It was strange-I liked reminders of her in some things, but others hurt too much. As the soft music sifted through my room, I found myself pondering the title of Bella's new composition. Nothing seemed right. No Earthly name was pure enough to describe it.

The song was a timeline. It went through everything that we had gone through. Starting with need and hatred, progressing to like, and eventually love. It ended on a sour note that didn't fit with the rest of the song. Oddly enough, that's what made it perfect. It was a horrible ending to a beautiful song. Just as there had been a tragic ending to a magnificent life. Tragic…Bella's end was tragic. That was when the name came to me. A Tragic Love. My love had caused the tragic end. The name was only fitting.

When I sat down again, I felt a letter crunch under me. I groaned. I was not in the mood, whether the letter was from Bella or not. I was in the stage of mourning called anger. I was angry at her, angry at everyone. _Especially_ her.

"No!" I shouted at the window, as if she were standing right there. "You don't get to do this. You can't just die and keep stringing me along like it's all okay. This is _not _okay, Bella! _I _am not okay! Do you know that?" In that moment, I didn't care that I was being a selfish jerk. I just needed someone to take the blame. To hold it and keep it warm while it waited for me to claim it.

Evidently, the letter wanted to be read. It zoomed out from underneath me and smacked into my face. I frowned, but grabbed it.

_My dearest Edward_

I could tell from the start that this letter wasn't going to be good.

_You're everything to me. My whole world. You're everything that I want to be. But I can't, obviously, be like you, because I'm up here and you're down there…. Edward, this is kind of a goodbye. Closure. Right now, I'm in a place where I'm able to write you letters and keep in contact. This is because I'm not fully resting in peace. But I can feel it, it's comin; my shining light is coming closer. It's time for me to move on, Edward, to wherever "on" is. I think you should move on, too. I need you to move on, so that I can. Don't think that when I say I'm moving on, that I'm going to find some hot heavenly boyfriend. That's not what I mean. I mean…I'm going to _move on. _Relax. Finally. I still love you, Edward. I will always love you. But I can't hold on to things like regret and sadness in Heaven. I'm sorry. I may be able to write you one last letter, after this one. I'm sorry._

There wasn't a signature. That was all there was. So I had been right, at least somewhat. There couldn't be pain in Heaven, so she wasn't there yet. But she would be soon, and that would be the end of it. No more magic envelopes from the sky. No more letters. No more Bella. I wasn't prepared for this. I had thought that she could write me indefinitely, until I died. I saw then how foolish I had been.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I muttered to myself. Of course she had to go. It was only a matter of time. That's all life was, anyways. Everything revolved around time, and the clock was always ticking down.

**Sorry, guys!! I know this one was another sad one, but happy ones are coming soon, I PROMISE! This was also very short, but this is because we are about to get to the very interesting part of the story. Also, I know I said earlier that there would be several more letters, but more letters just don't fit into my plot anymore. There WILL be one more letter, just so you know. Possibly two. If you really want to know, this story DOES in fact have a happy ending, don't worry. I'll update soon, if you review. We're at 27. I'm hoping for…35 by the next chapter? But I'll still update, whether I reach that number or not (: it's just a goal. So please review! Thanks! You're the best readers EVER :D**


	8. Means Goodbye

**We exceeded my review goal! Woohoo! Happy dance (: Here is the next chapter, where things start getting interesting. This will probably be another sad one, but we're getting to the happy ones, promise. enjoy! **

Letter Five: Finality

I went through the motions the next morning. I showered, dressed (in more black), and brushed my hair. I walked to the Volvo without a fight, aside from insisting I got to drive. It _was _my car after all. My family was eager enough to comply, and we were off. I forced the gas pedal completely down, and I enjoyed the exhilarating sense of freedom I felt as my car flew through the rain-slick streets. I laughed at the thought of Charlie pulling me over. What would he do? Give me a ticket? Ha.

I pulled into a parking spot and was out of the car before my siblings had opened their doors. For some reason, I was excited about school. I had a strange feeling that something good was going to happen.

"Edward!" Alice hissed, catching up to me in the hallway. I smiled at her, our argument from yesterday forgotten.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"You need to go home."

"Excuse me?" I asked in surprise. "I thought you all wanted me to come back to school?"

"Well, we do, just not today. I had a vision…something very bad is going to happen today."

"Really?" I grinned, pushing my hands into my pockets. "It feels like just the opposite." I should have known better than to side against the mind reader.

"Please believe me!" Alice begged. I raised an eyebrow.

"Show me the vision." I whispered so the passing students in the corridor wouldn't hear us.

"What?"

"Show…me…the …vision." I repeated, just as soft, only slower. Her thoughts instantly shifted to how to write her name in Hindi. There was something she didn't want me to see. She looked down sheepishly.

"I don't think that's the best idea." She murmured.

I sighed. "Alice, I'm going to stay here, okay? Thanks for the help, but you're acting _really _strange." And I walked away. I heard her mutter,

"That's all anyone tells me," behind me. I shrugged off our conversation and went to first period. It was boring; I had heard it all before. The whispering and pointing still had not died down. It was as if they thought I wasn't actually there; they thought there was an invisible sound proof wall between us. _Humans. _They talked about how weird it had been when me and Bella were dating. They asked why I would choose her, of all people. I wanted to smash their faces in, the ignorant fools. They knew nothing of good character.

On my way to third period, I felt something land in my jacket pocket. I felt the familiar stiff, creamy edges in between my thumb and forefinger. I knew what it was. I decided to ditch this period and go read it. I didn't need an audience. I discreetly left the school and ran to the-our-meadow. It wasn't as pretty as it had been the last time I had gone there-the day of Bella's funeral. The flowers were dead, the trees hiding sleepily behind sheets of moss. Still, I felt comforted when I saw the twig. Evidence Bella had lived; evidence she had _been. _I again sat with the twig, my only companion, and opened the letter.

_Edward,_

It began in her beautiful penmanship. I breathed it in for a moment before reading the rest.

_I love you._

_Bella_

She said "I love you". But she meant "goodbye". I pulled my knees to my chest and toppled over onto my side. I felt so mortal in my weakness. This truly was goodbye for Bella and I. She had moved on to a place where I could never follow, even when I died, for lack of a soul. My sobs shook me. I don't think I had ever cried so much in such a short period in all my existence. Bella had changed me, through and through. Eventually, I fell into a kind of stupor, and I was unaware of nearly everything.

It was hours later when I heard the cracks and snaps, signaling I had a visitor. I considered getting into a fighting crouch before I remembered any threat that I had would never make that much noise. I relaxed and waited to see who it was. I could have read their mind, but decided against it-I enjoyed the suspense. After a few minutes, a sweaty, dirt and grime covered Mike Newton lumbered through the last cover of trees to enter the meadow. Our meadow. He was intruding, and he was _Mike Newton _for Pete's sake, but I couldn't bring myself to be mad at him. I found myself almost craving the company.

"Cullen?" he whispered, out of breath. I nodded slowly. "I saw you sneak off campus. I followed you." Obviously. I was suddenly craving his company less and less.

"I know." I said to fill the silence. He shifted his balance to the other foot.

"I know we aren't really friends, Cullen." I have a first name, Newton. "But I want to let you know that I'm sorry about Bella. She was…she was great." He grinned weakly to himself, reminiscing on the times when he thought he actually had a chance with her.

"You have no idea." I answered with a smile of my own. He didn't sit and I didn't stand. We weren't friends, but I was learning to accept the fact that Bella had had an effect on more than just me. She touched everyone's life she came in contact with. She was just that kind of person.

When Mike left the clearing, I followed after him silently. I'm sure he didn't know I was there. I hoped I hadn't missed the end of the day; my siblings would be furious if they had to "walk" home. After a while, Mike called,

"Don't worry. We still have an hour until 6th period starts." I guess I wasn't as silent as I had thought. Was I losing my touch? Maybe it was just that I hadn't hunted in so long. I was turning into such a human. We reached the school not _too _much later, and we were just in time for the last period of the day. I was glad I had missed biology. I wasn't sure if I was ready for that again. Sixth period hadn't yet ended when we got inside, so the hallways were pretty empty. Mark and I parted ways and I headed to where my Spanish class was located.

That was when I saw her. She seemed unremarkable from behind-long, dirty blonde hair. Her skin seemed tan as far as I could tell. She looked like she had moved from somewhere sunny like San Diego or…Phoenix. The thing that startled me most about her was that I couldn't get a read off of her. That, and she had no scent. I couldn't even smell her blood. She turned to face me all of a sudden and I saw Bella's face. Her nose, her lips, her cheekbones…and her eyes. This girl had Bella's eyes. She gave me a sad sort of smile as the dismissal bell rang and she melted into the oncoming crowd.

I thought about going to class. I knew I had already skipped enough for one day. But that girl _was _Bella in some form or another, and I wasn't about to let her go. So I devised a plan. I ran outside, and I circled the school too fast for humans eyes to catch. I was a gust of chilly wind. I kept circling, repeatedly. The girl couldn't just evaporate into thin air. She would have to leave the building sometime. And when she did, I would catch her. Stop her, and get some answers. I needed to know about Bella, the letters, and why she was here.

**Thanks for reading! Review review review! I'm super hoping for fifty by the next chapter, but again, I'll update even if we don't reach it. You guys are amazing! **


	9. New

Sorry it's short and crappy and late. Enjoy anyway (:

New

I didn't stop until I heard a voice from high above me, from the top of a tree.

"You can quit running now," an amused voice said. I froze. I knew it wasn't, couldn't possibly be, but it sounded just like…Bella. I turned slowly and saw, just as I expected, the blonde from inside. Though, I had no idea how she got outside without running into me. "I suppose," she began, standing slowly and hopping down from the tree-a jump from a height that would kill any human, "that you're wondering how I beat your little trap?" I didn't answer, so she continued. "I have powers that even you can't comprehend." I gulped, telling my voice to work.

"Who are you?" I asked coldly. My eyes narrowed into angry slits, though the girl wasn't the least bit intimidated. She strolled over to me, keeping her gaze locked on the ground. This frustrated me. I longed to see her eyes again.

"My name's Vie." She told me nonchalantly.

"Vie." I repeated, then translated, "_life._ French, isn't it?"

"You're good."

"I know." I glared at her for a moment, waiting for her to look up at me. She finally did, but only for a split second. But it was long enough for me to catch a glimpse of her beautiful chocolate eyes. The sight of them melted my heart. I gasped and clutched at my chest. "Bella," I whispered accidentally. Vie frowned.

"Who's Bella?" she asked as if she didn't know. I didn't quite fall for the act.

"She was my girlfriend." It was an understatement, but it summed up our relationship fairly simply.

"Was?" she raised an eyebrow. "What happened to her?" I bit my lip, trying to decide whether or not to answer.

"She passed away." I mumbled at last. The words burned my throat on the way out like bile.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Oh, really? Because you kind of don't sound sorry. Vie chuckled and put a hand on my shoulder. It was warm, which made me uncomfortable. "You've got some issues, my friend." I yanked my arm out of her grasp roughly.

"We are not friends." I was sure of that. She was an illusion, and it broke my heart seeing a wanna-be Bella. I would have done anything, paid any price, to see my real love again. But it would never happen. That face was gone forever. Vie smiled sadly at me.

"Why not?" she asked me. I groaned.

"Because you aren't Bella!" I bellowed, then regretted it instantly. I looked around to make sure I hadn't drawn a scene. Then I remembered that everyone else was still in school. Vie got defensive.

"Of course I'm not Bella. A lot of people aren't Bella. That doesn't mean we can't be friends." She argued. But she was so wrong. I didn't have any friends outside of my family, and I didn't want any. Especially not this imposter who looked and sounded so much like the love of my existence.

"Yes," I said. "It does."

Alice POV

I saw Edward run outside and then his future abruptly disappeared. However, since I was in class, I couldn't very well run out to save him without drawing attention to myself. I tapped my foot impatiently through Mr. Brown's lecture. Jasper, feeling my irritation and impatience, squeezed my hand and rubbed circles on it with his thumb. Things had been off between us lately, but we were both trying to make it work. I mean, of course it was going to work. We were soul mates.

"Are you alright, Alice?" he muttered out of the corner of his mouth. There was no need. No one was paying attention to us at the back of the room anyways. I just nodded without looking at him, not wanting to go into the details. I could feel him glower at me. "How do you expect us to fix our problems if you refuse to talk to me?" he went on quietly. I sighed.

"We're in class, Jasper." I reminded him softly.

"Whatever." He dropped my hand, and I felt my heart drop with it. I hadn't seen a vision for it yet, but I just knew a divorce was headed our way.

_Stupid Bella! _I thought. Her death was causing problems for more than just Edward.

Edward POV

The stare down was still going on with us outside. Finally, I sighed.

"Look, I know you're somehow supernatural. And I know you know something about Bella. Tell me." I was sick of playing games. I was tired. I just wanted to know the truth. Evidently, Vie was bored of the charade as well.

"You're right. I know a lot about Bella." she agreed.

"Then why did you pretend you didn't?" I countered. My temper was flaring up again, but she remained perfectly calm.

"Because I wanted to find out how you felt. I wanted to see how you would respond." She shrugged, as if this answer was perfectly acceptable.

"You could have merely asked me. It's easy enough to explain…it broke my heart. I want to die. I have no purpose without her. Is that what you wanted to hear?" I told her.

"Yes, I could have just asked you." She allowed, but didn't comment on the rest of my answer. I rolled my eyes-this conversation was going in circles.

"Who are you, Vie?" I asked her again. She knew what I meant.

Vie took a long time to respond, running her fingers through her long hair and staring off into the distance for a while. I was about to repeat my question a third time when she finally opened her mouth to speak.

"I am not human, Edward Cullen." Thank you, but that much is quite obvious. "I'm Bella." I rubbed my forehead and looked at the ground.

"That's not funny," I hissed at her.

"I'm not making a joke!" she retorted. I gazed evenly at her.

"Isabella Swan is dead and has been so for several weeks." I replied in a hollow tone. Vie turned away.

"I told them you wouldn't believe me," she said, more to the sky than to me.

"What are you talking about?"

"I _am _Bella, Edward. Why don't you trust me?"

"Because this is impossible."

"Oh yes, and the existence of vampires is so believable!" I cocked my head, listening now. She calmed herself down and moved on. "I know you're wondering how I'm here and why I look like this….Truth be told, it's hard for me to understand, too. But… I'm an angel." She held out her arms. "This is me in my perfected form." Before I could stop, I found myself saying,

"You never needed perfecting." She gave me a lopsided grin.

"I can stay here." I worked to contain my excitement, hiding it under doubt. I wanted so badly to believe that Bella had returned, but it couldn't be happening. Pretending would only hurt me. "But," Of course, there was a catch to her claims. "I had to make a deal."

"What kind of deal?" I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer.

"I can stay here…but I can't be with you ever again."


	10. Edward's Death

Hopefully this chapter is good enough that you won't hate me for taking so long to update. If you review, I'll write another chapter tonight (:

Ch. 8

"You can't be with me? You…you can't…be with me?" this was almost more than I could stand. "But you'll be alive?" I whispered.

"Yes. As alive as I can be." Vie-Bella-replied softly. I exhaled sharply.

"Then I guess I'll agree. I'd rather have you here and happy than dead." She chuckled.

"Do you know me at all?" I stared at her quizzically. Of course I knew her. "I won't be happy. Not if I'm not with you." She touched my face with one small hand for an instant before slipping it away. She just kept making things harder, didn't she? I opted for a change of subject.

"When do you have to go?"

"A few seconds, and that's pushing it." She told me, a strain in her voice.

"Come here, then!" I exclaimed quickly, reaching out to embrace her. But just as my hands grasped at her, she vanished. It was as if she never existed.

Staring at where she had just been, I clutched at my heart and sobbed.

I crumbled.

Alice Pov

"Edward!" I shrieked, running outside to him. I hadn't been able to stay in class another second and had used the restroom as an excuse. I found my brother in a ball on the pavement of the back parking lot. "Edward," I cried again, softer, as I reached him. I stroked his shoulder gently, but he didn't acknowledge my presence. I could feel it; he was lost now. His mind had finally left him. It would take a miracle to make him see reason. I could hear him making a noise, so I leaned down closer.

"Bella," he was whimpering. "Vie." It was pitiful. I stared into his eyes, trying to snap him out of it. But his wide, vacant eyes were unseeing.

"Edward, you have to move. Class will be out soon." I still got no response. If only Emmett were out here, he could carry him home. And then as if on cue, Emmett came barreling out of the school building.

"I saw you run out!" he bellowed at me from several feet away. The instant he reached us, he hoisted Edward over his shoulder and bolted for the woods. I shot after him and then we were running, tree branches whipping at our faces. In a few moments, we were home. Emmett carried Edward up to his room, then followed me to mine.

"What happened?" he asked gruffly. I shrugged.

"I have no idea. His future disappeared when he went outside. The only thing I saw was him falling on the ground. It's like he's in a coma or something. I haven't seen anything like this, ever."

"Well, we're going to need to wake him up. He hasn't hunted in so long and who knows what happened out there? We could be at risk of being exposed."

I glanced at Emmett sideways. "It's not like you to be so mature." I said, suspicious. He exhaled loudly.

"I just want my brother back, alright, Alice? Things haven't been the same since she died." You can say that again.

"I don't know if things will ever be the same, Emmett."

Edward POV

I was back to the way I was right after Bella died, only worse. I couldn't even make myself pretend anymore. I didn't have the energy. I was weakening, quickly. I couldn't recall the last time I had been hunting…in short, I was dying. Not that it mattered much. My Bella had been ripped away from me a few too many times for me to care whether I lived or died anymore. I didn't go to school. It wasn't safe, and I could hardly get myself off of my bedroom floor anyway. My family worried incessantly. I wished there was something I could do to appease them, to ease their minds, to stop them from worrying. But I couldn't, which made me hate myself even more. I think they tried to talk to me, but I couldn't really hear what they were saying. It was just a dull mumble that blended together to sound like the word 'Bella'. It was only when I came to a final decision that I at last was brought out of my stupor.

I stretched, feeling the odd ache in my bones, and rose unsteadily to my feet. I stumbled slowly to my bedroom door and turned the knob carefully. How long had it been since I had left this room? Too long. I shuffled down the hallway and staircase, gripping the walls for support. I wasn't aware that I could get this weak. I stopped in the bathroom on my way to the dining room to check my appearance. My hair was growing limp and the color was dulling. I was still vampire-pale, but now instead of a white tint, my skin had a sickly yellowish undertone. My eyes, blacker than I had ever seen them, had deep purple bags under them, no longer mere shadows. I was thinner and less muscular than I was used to being. I felt empty and hollow. For the first time in my vampire life, I actually felt _dead_.

Not being able to stand looking at my reflection for another second, I continued on my way to where my family was waiting at the kitchen table. I hadn't told them to meet me, but I assumed Alice had had a vision of me being up and about today.

"Your arguments will be useless." I cautioned them tiredly. "I have already made my choice." No one said a word, but everyone-even Rosalie-seemed moved. Silently, Esme stood and made her way over to me. Wrapping her thin arms around my waist, she buried her head in my chest.

_Please do not go._ She thought simply, and then, squeezing me a second more, returned to her seat.

"Son," Carlisle rose to address me. I prepared to shoot down his protests, but they never came. "Son," he repeated. "My son." He pinched the bridge of his nose as dry sobs shook him. He sank back into his chair, allowing Esme to comfort him as he cried. Rosalie glared at me as if to say, "look at what you're doing to this family!" and I had to admit, she was right. I had never seen Carlisle lose control of his emotions this way. He was always calm, always the collected one. My world was so mixed up nowadays.

"If no one else is going to say it, I will." Emmett began, taking to his feet. "We don't want you to go kill yourself, alright? We love you, and _I _love you. Just…don't go, man." He sat back down, putting his head in his hands. I looked to Alice, wondering what she would say. Surprisingly, her eyes were burning with anger.

"Upstairs." When I didn't move, she shouted, "Now!" Puzzled, I turned and made my slow passage back up the stairs. Alice, who had flown past me, was already waiting in her room.

"Have you lost your mind, Edward Cullen?" she cried. "After all I've done for you, after all I've sacrificed-?!" she cut off, evidently too peeved to carry on.

"Sacrificed?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, _sacrificed._ I suppose you've been too wrapped up in your own misery to notice, but Jasper and I aren't exactly _together _anymore. He's been sleeping on the couch for weeks. I love him so much, Edward, but I've had to keep him out of the loop as I've tried to help you. He thinks it means we're over." Her voice was quieting as she went on, but she didn't notice the additional person who was standing in the doorframe. "I don't want us to be over." She whispered pathetically, more to herself than to me, and sagged to the floor on her knees.

"Neither do I." Jasper said, entering the room. Alice looked up at him in surprise, venomous tears shining on her face.

"I'll go, then." I muttered, easing past Jasper and out the door. I wanted them to have their privacy. I went to my room to think. It was obvious the Volturi wasn't an option, no matter how badly I wanted it. I looked around my room, trying to get ideas. And then, as my eyes rested upon my desk, where Bella's letters lay, it hit me. I scrambled for a piece of paper and pen, scribbling out the words as they came out of me.

_I need you, Bella. Come back to me. I_

It wasn't until I started the third sentence that I remembered what she had told me. I couldn't write her back. I dropped the pen and paper, giving up the last of my life with it. I had expended what little energy I had left. I sank to the floor, feeling myself slipping away. It looked like I wasn't going to have to go to Volterra after all. Death was coming for me on its own terms. With my last, unnecessary breath, I vowed,

"Bella, I cannot live without you by my side. I will find you." And I closed my eyes.

"Oh, Edward." Said a glimmering voice. "I was kind of hoping you would say that."


	11. Happy Ever After

**Wow, long time no update. Sorry :/ I didn't like my sequel idea, so I changed it. Hope this doesn't mess with you guys' heads too much. Anyways, go back and read the last chapter to freshen up your memory, then read this epilogue. Tell me if you like it!**

Epilogue

I struggled to get my eyes open. My _Bella._ I wanted to see her. I _had _to see her.

"Isabella?" I groaned at last. My eyes opened, and there she was. My beautiful girl. My love. "You're here." It was a ridiculous statement, I knew, but I could think of no brilliant words. All I had been hoping for, praying for, dreaming of, had come to me. I could barely get her name and those two silly words out.

"Yes, Edward. Wake up. Wake up for me." She smiled that dazzling smile of hers and brushed the hair from my eyes. I took that hand in mine and slowly sat up, expecting to feel the soreness, the weakness from before. But I didn't. I felt fine. Better than fine. I felt complete.

"Where have you been, love?" I asked her softly. I knew she said she had made a deal, but if so, how was she here now?

"You're talking about Vie?" She checked and I nodded. She sighed and looked down. "I apologize for her. She's someone who's been pestering me since I died. Trying to get me to come to…their side."

"Their side?" I raised an eyebrow and she chuckled darkly.

"I believe you would call her one of the devil's minions? She tricked you, Edward, and I'm so sorry. She can make herself look however she wants, and I think they planned on getting you to join them by using me…well, Vie. I'm so sorry." Her voice was so heartbroken it nearly killed me, and I immediately pulled her closer to me.

"You're here now. That's what matters. How is that, in any case…?" I had to know. Would she be here for only a fleeting second, or was she here to stay? The idea of her leaving me…it was enough to destroy me.

"Well, actually, Edward…,"

The Cullens found Edward later that evening when Alice saw his future suddenly appear then abruptly disappear again. They raced up the stairs and saw him lying on his bedroom floor, smiling. Appearing completely at peace, with his arms crossed across his chest. He hadn't gone to Volterra, no. But it was obvious he was dead. His family all still felt the pain of loss, of losing their brother, their son. But something Alice said caused them all to relax some, to feel the sadness while still feeling the peace that it appeared Edward felt.

"It's okay." She smiled, kneeling next to her dead brother and taking his hand in her own. She peered back over at her family. Things were different. Emmett was more mature, less carefree. Rosalie was more closed off than before. The always-happy Carlisle and Esme had a little grief under their belts. And Alice and Jasper had had their first real issues. But they were healing, all of them. And slowly, everything would become okay again. Different, but alright.

"It's okay," Alice repeated. "He's with Bella now."

**A/N: So if you read the original ending to this story, you'll be very confused reading this. but I deleted those other chapters and things because quite frankly, they sort of got a mind of their own and went way off from where I wanted this story to be. I think my sequel idea was pretty dumb, and although some of you may HATE me for killing Edward, I think this is the ending he and Bella deserved. He was always worried that he didn't have a soul, but I think he did and so he gets his happy ending-an eternity with Bella in heaven. Leave me your thoughts?**


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